Complete The Danged Fence(Not Really)

I don't talk about serious issues. EVER. I don't care for them. I just think that certain things are funny. Like the CompletetheDangedFence.com website. We're not going to make a fence around America; that's stupid. People can climb fences. I don't think the problem is that immigrants are just walking into the country; I'm pretty sure that they have tunnels, and a couple of more creative ways to get into the States. Immigrants aren't the neighbors dog, a fence isnt going to keep anyone out. Shit, if I were San Salvadorian, I'd shoot myself out of a cannon over the wall just to get here. America is dope. I don't know. I just think we're dumb, and think that everyone else is dumb. America is that cute girl in math class, who you ask questions during class, just so you can turn around and look at her cleavage. And what sweet cleavage the U.S. of A has. Steak Houses, reality TV, and Drag Racing. Such...sweet boobs.

I had a good time at Chucklestorm. I think the comics were great, and I did pretty well, too. And Ottobar has a pretty sweet stage. Like legitimately, a great room with awesome accoustics. Im in a good mood, but I'm hungry. So Bye

Favorite Shit of the Whatever: Having a girl deep throat my two fingers at the Ottobar. They literally disappeared.

School Starts (Standup+Friendship+Failure=Tim German)

So first day of school starts, and all I can think of is telling jokes. How good I am at it, or how bad I perceive myself, I've been doing alot of standup lately. Here's the deal: I know I've been in everybodys face lately with it, and I'm not trying to be a douche, but I significantly enjoy this. I want to tell jokes. I want to make people laugh. I seriously think I can do it too. Maybe not big successful Comedy Central Specials, but if I work hard enough to write and work on material, I think Ive got the right stuff.

One thing that keeps my dream within reach are my two boys, Atif and Joe. These guys are better than me...SIGNIFICANTLY. They're great writers, great performers, and they don't need a persona, when they're on stage, they're Atif and Joe. They've been cool enough to fucking write and write and write with me, and all we do is write, but when it comes to the grind, that's what stand-up is; lots of fucking writing, with memorization and set work in between.

So we go to NY to do stand-up, I don't want to name drop but (IT WAS AT THE GOTHAM).Joe KILLS it, like literally murders the crowd, with a comedy gun....then with a real gun. Atif kills,and they weren't gonna let them on, but then the Gotham stopped being an asshole, let him on, and then He knocks it out of the park. Then they offer him more time, and he basically tells them to eat shit. I did ok. 5 out of 10 on the Tim German scale of self-deprecation. It was a good trip that ended with us being yelled at by a club owner for "FUCKING PEEING IN HIS ALLEY"

I have a show in 2 days...and im GOING to do well. Im convincing myself of that, as a sort of "say it, believe it, do it" sort of motivational bullshit hypnotism. Come see me if you'd like, Its at the Ottobar. I'd like it if you went, and you might even enjoy yourself.

Favorite Shit of the Whatever: "We should 3D him on a parking meter..." -Atif Myers and "Look at how big of bitches we became when that bouncer showed up" -Joe Welkie