SO today is thanksgiving. Whoopee. We screwed Indians out of their land, wore belt buckles on our shoes and hats. That's old news. What is new news is my new holiday. You're-WelcomeGiving. YWG Day is about reminding people around the world what you've done for them, and how they should treat you better because you've saved them. So
1. Indians: Sorry for the whole "land theft" thing, that was white people's bad. But you're welcome for Casinos
2. France: Yeah...WW2. Enough said "dicks"
3. Gossip Magazines: You're Welcome that Americans are obsessed with celebrities, because this is the only country that you could possibly make a living on that, you bottom feeders...
4. You guys: Im actually posting on a holiday when i could be with my lame ass family. You're welcome
Everything I Love About America#5: The Secret Service
They better be on Real Housewives of DC, or this shit wasn't worth it. It would be so hilarious, if it wasnt shityourpants-style scary. Well it's still hilarious.
